HALLALULABABAL! I HAVE SEEN THE LIGHT! I have cast back the evil veil of control and conformity. Cast back the dreaded life-sucking hands which threatened to quench the fire of my existence as they closed ever tighter around my neck. I am free...free my brothers and sisters! I bask in the smiling warmth that is liberation... liberation from the many headed demon-basilisk known more commonly as EMPLOYMENT. Yes my friends EMPLOYMENT, I know it is a truly loathsome word, a word which sends shivers down the spines of all who are right and good, but it is a word that must be spoken. You cannot go on pretending! YOU may be employed! Yes it is true but do not freak out (unless you want to) there is still hope.
I CAN HELP YOU. As you know I ,repro drew, am a certified Day Job Rehabilitation Counselor with many years of frontline anti-job research and strategic slack acquisition campaigns, but what you probably don't know is that I have taken that all a step further... I have infiltrated the very core of the "genetic make up" that proliferates the vicious "slack-hunger-job-fuck this shit-slack-hunger-job..." cycle. Through careful and meticulous research I have discovered a holy stepping stone on wich YOU can step to bypass the recurring job element that constantly encroaches on our freedom.
I WANT TO HELP YOU. It is vital that the secrets of general merriment and ultimate slack be protected from the unbelievers and the great throng of jobbed-ones who would surely use the powers for their own financial gain and the indenture of unsuspecting dupes. For this reason I have devised a way to safely disseminate the sacred scriptures of slack. I need to tell you as soon as possible, but first you must quit your job and send me your final paycheck (including any saved vacation time or commisions etc.) By making this symbolic act of absolution you will assure yourself true freedom in the immediate future. Please let me share with you this incredible information!
Quit your job tomorrow; ONLY BRAINWASHED DUPES GIVE NOTICE.
Then send your endorsed check to: repro drew...