Welcome to the Fashion Frontier: The Original FRG, one-size-fits-all Fabulous Rain Garment. More than a tent, as flattering as a trashbag with armholes; it cavorts with every movement like a houscoat made from a shower curtain. Trolling for fetishists? Frednecks of Hollywood offers matching rubberized tap pants.

Fabulous days deserve fabulous gear.

As far as our actual tent goes, the tundra was feeling particularly soft right around this spot: